Monday, May 30, 2011

Tutor Dynasty

Student: Have you seen Step-Brothers?
Me: No, you ask me that every week. Can we focus?
Student: It's so funny. I'm going to keep asking until you see it.
Me: Focus.
Student: Have you seen the Tudors?
Me: Really?
Student: Gosh, I was only asking you a question. I can't ask questions?
Me: I might have to hurt you.
Student: Ok, ok. I'll do the problem.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Monarch of Math

Student: So here, can I just divide everything by 7?
Me: No, you cannot divide under the square root sign.
Student: Do not tell me what I can and cannot do.

Monday, May 16, 2011

He clearly does not understand the gravity of the question.

Me: Well, technically, scientists haven't proven that gravity exists.
Student: [drops pencil] There just I just proved it.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Philosophy 101

Me: Hey, can I use your iPhone charger? My phone's gonna die.
Student: We are all gonna die.
Me: . . . .

Monday, May 2, 2011

Closer to the Sun

Student: I dropped a cashew.
Me: I see it. I'll get it later, just finish this problem.

[later]

Student: I dropped my pencil.
Me: I'll get it. Here, use mine.
Student: Where'd it go?
Me: It's next to the cashew.
Student: Oh, I see it. It's closer to your chair than to the cashew.
Me: Really? Well, you could do that with anything. The pencil is closer to the cashew than the sun.
Student: Everything is closer to the cashew than it is to the sun! The people in China are closer to the cashew than they are to the sun.
Me: Haha. True.
Student: The moon is closer to the cashew than to the sun!
Me: Look. I've thrown the cashew away. Can we do this math now?
Student: Mars is closer to the cashew than it is to the sun.
Me: Yes. Ok. Let's move on.