So awkward.

Student: When we are done, I'm going to read this GQ magazine so hard.

Me: That is really awkward phrasing.

Student: Haha. I'm going to take this test tomorrow so hard.

Me: . . .

Student: I am going to eat this tangerine so hard.

Me: I really wish you would stop that.

Student: I'm going to use this phrase so hard.

The Balkans

Me: Balk.

Student: [makes a face]

Me: You have to be more specific.

Student: Disbelief.

Me: Good.

Student: Do you know where that word comes from?

Me: . . .

Student: It is from the Balkans. People looked at it and went [makes same face].

Me: . . .

Physically Challenged 5

Me: What is this? Is that a 5 or a - 5?

Student: Kyyyy! Isn't that obvious? The answer is clearly 5. It's just slanting all the way so it looks messed up 5.

Me: Really? Cuz it looks like you wrote - 5.

Student: Obviously, I got it right.

Me: How about this one? You wrote - 18.

Student: . . . Oh. No, no, no. The answer is - 22. Are you blind, Ky? I clearly wrote - 22.

[erases old answer and writes new answer]

Me: That was a really terrible 22. It looked like an 18.

Student: I almost tried that on my teacher today.

Me: That would be a bad idea.

Student: Yeah.

This one's for you Snide Elliot

Student: Airooditay.

Me: It's erudite.

Student: No, it's airodiatay. Its rhymes with crudite.

Me: What does it mean?

Student: Well-educated.

Me: . . .