I might as well add dreads.

Nanny: The little one told me I had to see the Rastafarian hat you made.

Me: It's a rainbow hat!

Nanny: She thought you'd been to Jamaica.

Me: No, see it has blue on it.

Nanny: But your missing the indigo or violet.

Me: They didn't have any at the store.

Nanny: The red, green and yellow make it look Jamaican.

Me: You're ruining my hat.

Nanny: Ok, I'll leave you to it then.

He does math on the path to the bath.

Me: So we should do the word problems and then you'll be done.

Student: Ok. A stone is thrown from a throne at home -

Me: Really?

Student: No. A stone is thrown from a window 12 feet from the ground . . .

Me: Nice.

Bonding

Student: I stole this pen. I have this weird thing where I only steal pens.

Me: Yeah. I was like that in high school with chapstick.

Student: Really?

Me: Yeah, I would only steal chapstick. Sometimes I still do.

Student: I was kidding. I didn't steal this pen.

Me: Oh. . .

Student: . . .

Me: Me too.

Student: Awkward.

Me: Yeah.

Takiteas!

Student: Hokay. Takiteas!

Me: I haven't said anything.

Student: Takiteas!

Me: What's your answer?

Student: -8

Me: Hm. . . Fine.

Student: You know, when you say "fine", what you mean is "right".

Me: Takiteas.

Student: You know it's true.

Me: Fine.

In bad taste.

Me: What does ostentatious mean?

Student: Bad tasting.

Me: Not quite. The definition is gaudy, in bad taste.

Student: That's what I said.

Me: There is a difference. A dress can be in bad taste but not necessarily bad tasting.

Student: Oh.

Me: Yes.