We are not pleased!

Student: I haven't edited this paper at all.

Me: Ok, let's see. . . . . hm . . . Galileo was executed because the Church was not pleased with his heresy. Really?

Student: What?

Me: Who talks like that? It is like the royal we. I am not pleased with this sentence.

I, give, up.

Me: Do you know what waive means?

Student: Like when you see someone on the street?

Me: That is w-a-v-e. This is with an i.

Student: Like when you waive your rights?

Me: Exactly. Give up.

Student: [writes on card]

Me: It's "give up", not "give, up"

I might as well add dreads.

Nanny: The little one told me I had to see the Rastafarian hat you made.

Me: It's a rainbow hat!

Nanny: She thought you'd been to Jamaica.

Me: No, see it has blue on it.

Nanny: But your missing the indigo or violet.

Me: They didn't have any at the store.

Nanny: The red, green and yellow make it look Jamaican.

Me: You're ruining my hat.

Nanny: Ok, I'll leave you to it then.

He does math on the path to the bath.

Me: So we should do the word problems and then you'll be done.

Student: Ok. A stone is thrown from a throne at home -

Me: Really?

Student: No. A stone is thrown from a window 12 feet from the ground . . .

Me: Nice.

Bonding

Student: I stole this pen. I have this weird thing where I only steal pens.

Me: Yeah. I was like that in high school with chapstick.

Student: Really?

Me: Yeah, I would only steal chapstick. Sometimes I still do.

Student: I was kidding. I didn't steal this pen.

Me: Oh. . .

Student: . . .

Me: Me too.

Student: Awkward.

Me: Yeah.