Takiteas!

Student: Hokay. Takiteas!

Me: I haven't said anything.

Student: Takiteas!

Me: What's your answer?

Student: -8

Me: Hm. . . Fine.

Student: You know, when you say "fine", what you mean is "right".

Me: Takiteas.

Student: You know it's true.

Me: Fine.

In bad taste.

Me: What does ostentatious mean?

Student: Bad tasting.

Me: Not quite. The definition is gaudy, in bad taste.

Student: That's what I said.

Me: There is a difference. A dress can be in bad taste but not necessarily bad tasting.

Student: Oh.

Me: Yes.

Happy General Holiday!

Student: Do you celebrate Christmas?

Me: Not really. My parents would get a tree and give presents, but it was more of a cultural thing.

Student: What are they?

Me: Buddhist.

Student: What do you celebrate?

Me: Nothing really.

Student: Well then, Happy Nothing!

Me: Thanks!

Not all-knowing.

Student: I don't get how you know like every word, but you can't pronounce some.

Me: I read a lot but didn't get to use the words. It's more common than you think. And it just seems like it should be ve-He-ment. I really want to pronounce that h.

Student: What's this word? Om-ni-see-ant?

Me: It's omniscient.

Student: Are you sure?

Me: . . .

Alumni or You're on it now!

Me: Hey! I started a blog. You are in it. Check it out.

Former Student: Awesome. . . Hey, that isn't how it happened!

Me: Scroll down.

Former Student: That's how it happened!

Former Student's Brother, Also a Former Student: Am I on your blog? I've said some funny shit.

Me: Your humor is hard to translate.

Former Student's Brother: True.