Bring in da noise . . .

Me: What does defunct mean?

Student: Like bring in defunct?

Me: . . .

Lazy Liar.

Me: Indolent means lazy. Can you think of a person you know who is indolent?

Student: My brother! He lied and said he couldn't take me to school, but it was really because he was lazy.

Me: Ok. Your brother was indolent about taking you to school.

[Later]

Me: What does indolent mean?

Student: Indolent means . . . don't tell me!!

Me: . . .

Student: Indolent . . .

Me: Who did we say was indolent?

Student: My brother! So it means a liar!

There are no words.

Me: You used good and bad a lot in your essay, so let's make a list of words you can use to replace them.

Student: Ok.

Me: Do you know any synonyms for bad?

Student: Abysmal?

Me: Really?

Student: What?

Me: You had abysmal in your head this whole time and you used bad instead?

Student: That's pretty abysmal, huh?

Me: Exactly.

Next time, ask him to throw a stapler.

Student: How did I do on my practice test?

Me: You did well on everything except the reading comp.

Student: Oh. I was distracted. Three of my friends were there.

Me: That makes sense. This passage though, you did really well.

Student: I remember that passage. That was when my friend threw a pencil at me.

Me: . . .

Student: Maybe I can get him to throw pencils at me during the test.

Me: That seems like a perfectly reasonable strategy.

Not just any prosaic word.

Student: I used one of our vocab words yesterday in school!

Me: That's awesome. Which word?

Student: Prosaic. I just added it nonchalantly into my sentence. Aren't you impressed?

Me: I'm more impressed that you just used nonchalantly.