Math Masochist.

Student: Why are these problems so hard? Why are you doooing this to me?

Me: You asked me to.
Student: But these are especially mean.
Me: You asked for them.
Student: So mean.
Me: Do you want a safe word?

Kit for Kat.

Me: Do this page.

Student: I'll do it if you me a Kit Kat.

Me: I don't have Kit Kat's.

Student: I do.

Me: Ok. Do this page and give me a Kit Kat.

Student: That isn't good for me.

Me: Ok then, how about just do this page.

The Young Dali.

Me: Why are you drawing a mustache on yourself?

Student: I'm going to say it was you.

Me: No one is going to believe that.

Student: Grandpa, look what Ky did to me!

Student's Grandpa: [passing through] It's an improvement.

Language Fowl.

Me: Amiable.

Student: Friendly.

Me:Candid.

Student: Honest.

Me: Paltry.

Student: Chicken.

Me: That would be poultry.

Student: Oh, then meager.

1/2 (v+u) = there is a limit to my knowledge.

Student: I have Physics homework.

Me: Oh. That's the one subject I can't do. I can get you a Physics tutor.

Student: No. Can't you learn it like you learned Algebra II for me.

Me: No, I relearned Algebra II. That's different. I never took Physics.

Student: You'll just look at the chapter and be fine.

Me: Ok, fine. So problem number 1. Hm . . . How long does it take an object to accelerate . . What is acceleration?

Student: . . .

Me: Oh, here it is. The first bolded term in chapter 1.

Student: . . .

Me: So the formula you would have to use . . .

Student: Can I get a Physics tutor?

Me: Yes.